You are probably thinking I am about to type a long attack on some poor sinful segment of humanity, about how their evil is...evil...and should not be accepted, only tolerated.
I am not.
However, the idea of "loving the sinner, hating the sin", although certainly cliche, is an interesting sort of verbal image for the way I feel right now.
I am not pregnant, but I look a few months along nonetheless. This, in the business, is called baby weight. Admitedly, I have not done as well with my diet after my baby was born as I intended. It's hard, and I love carbs. Yet I have still been a little disgusted with my appearance the last little while.
What can I do? Well, the way I see it, I have a few options.
1. Essentially continue what I am doing now, which is nothing. Less than nothing, I am going downhill instead of up. I usually keep myself from eating junk/sugary things for about 1/2-3/4 of the day. I tell myself I do not need them. I make it to lunch. I eat a pretty healthy lunch generally. Afternoon lures me to its snacky depths, where I again attempt to resist the delights of simple carbohydrates. I fail. Every day. Try as I might, I fail anyway. As far as activity, I used to take Mae for a walk nearly every day, but it has recently been so windy, or else really cold. I could go by myself in that weather, but I won't take her.
2. Go crazy. Regulate myself sternly, and force myself to walk everyday, with or without Mae, regardless of the weather. This would actually work for a few days, I think. I would do it, but then some small tragedy would come along and make me upset, sad, or mad, and I would fall again. I cannot keep that up forever.
3. Tolerate, but do not accept. I think I have determined that I cannot stay the way I am. I am gaining weight-- or at least I feel like it. I am getting more acne again. I don't feel too great. I look FAT. This is not acceptable to me!! Add this to the fact that I know some of the things I eat are just not good for my body. The sugars, especially HFCS, the crazy amounts of salt...etc.... I cannot accept this. BUT I cannot tear myself down. I think I focus a lot on the negativity of the way I am but do not think enough of the positives of myself OR the positive actions I can take.
SO, I tolerate being too heavy and fat for a little while, while I step by step get myself together. I can do this. A little at a time. God help me...no, really.
First of all, I think you are beautiful!
ReplyDeleteSecondly, you are not alone.
I have an idea though- how about an exercise dvd or show you could watch and do each day. Every little of activity helps. One thing I try to do is only spend a certain amount of time in front of the tv. I mean, there are TONS of things that need DO-ing that would make us more active. Even little things like doing dishes and folding clothes keep our body active versus sitting in front of the computer or tv. I think that turns our bodies into gel! ;o)
Drinking LOTS of water will also help and planning your meals and portions. I know these are all things you know. I am willing to go on this journey with you as I am not accepting of my form right now either! ;o)
I have a DVD on order that is supposed to be one to get back in shape after you have had a baby. Hope it gets here soon!!
ReplyDeleteThose are great thoughts. I often find myself desperately wanting to get more fit/active look and feel better, but what usually stops any amount of progress I may be making is just one negative thought: "It's not good enough," "I'm progressing too slowly", etc. I think positive encouragement, at least in the area of health is the best source of motivation. Just some thoughts!
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